[i'm uncreative.]

i think i broke it.

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can i just not go to work and roll around in my blankets instead tonight i’m too happy to work what the fuck is this i need to be grumpy and agitated.

470,773 notes





#how many times have I quoted this in my lifetime #far too many and still not enough

Guys, btw, this is an actual insult

if he calls your mother a hamster, it indicates that she is a fast-breeding rodent— you can get the insult there

and if he says your father smelt of elderberries, well, wine was primarily made from elderberries in the time of king arthur. he’s calling his dad a drunk

more you know

(Source: redlight--district, via genociderscissors)

398,553 notes




A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

I am in physical pain

(via trickypunk)

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safestsephiroth asked: fuck yeah!!!! High fives are in order!

I need to stop answering asks on my phone because I wanna use like 10 gifs of high fives but I can’t.

Regardless omg.